Obama, McCain on same-sex marriage

Speaking to a group of evangelical Christians, Sen. Barack Obama said Saturday that his greatest moral failure — and the country’s — has been selfishness, but his opponent, Sen. John McCain, cited his failed first marriage.

Sen. Barack Obama takes questions from the Rev. Rick Warren on Saturday.

McCain, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, added that the country’s greatest shortcoming has been a tendency to not devote itself “to causes greater than ourselves.”

“I think after 9/11, my friends, we should have told Americans to join the Peace Corps, expand the military, serve a cause greater than your self-interest,” he said.

Obama told the Rev. Rick Warren that “we still don’t abide by that basic precept of Matthew: that whatever you do for the least of my brothers, you do for me.

“That basic principle applies to poverty. It applies to racism and sexism; it applies to not thinking about providing ladders of opportunity for people to get into the middle class.”

The Saddleback Civil Forum on Presidency was the first time both candidates appeared on stage since they became the presumptive presidential nominees for their parties.

The event was held at Saddleback Church, a mega-church in southern California. The candidates were interviewed by Warren, pastor at the church and author of the best-selling book “The Purpose-Driven Life.”

Warren has said he won’t endorse either candidate, preferring that his followers make up their own minds.

“I have to tell you up front, both of these guys are my friends. They both care deeply about America. They are both patriots,” Warren said in his introduction. “They have very different ideas on how America can be strengthened.”

McCain and Obama appeared briefly onstage together, shaking hands and posing with Warren between their one-hour interviews.

Obama acknowledged his drug and alcohol use as a teenager when asked about his personal failure.

“I was so obsessed with me and the reasons I might be dissatisfied, I couldn’t focus on other people,” he said.

McCain’s answer to the question on his own failings was succinct. “My greatest moral failing, and I have been a very imperfect person, is the failure of my first marriage,” he said.

When asked what faith in Jesus means to him, McCain replied, “Means I’m saved and forgiven. Our faith encompasses not just America but the world.”

McCain got teary-eyed while discussing an experience with a guard during his experience as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. The guard, McCain said, drew a cross in the sand while he was praying on Christmas Day. “For a minute there, we were just two Christians worshipping together.”

Neither candidate shied away from a question about which current Supreme Court justice they would not have nominated.

Obama’s reply: Clarence Thomas.

I don’t think he was a strong enough jurist or a legal thinker at the time for that. I profoundly disagree with his interpretation” of the Constitution, he said.

McCain said he would have never nominated Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer, David Souter and John Paul Stevens.

“This nomination should be based on the criteria on a proven record of strictly adhering to the Constitution and not legislating from the bench,” McCain added.

The Arizona senator said he was “proud” of President Bush for nominating conservative Justices Samuel Alito and John Roberts to the court.

McCain also touched on the conflict in Georgia, saying Russia’s behavior in sending troops into breakaway regions “is not acceptable in the 21st century.”

“They achieved a revolution. … Now the Russians are coming in there in an act of aggression. … We have to not only bring about cease-fire; we have to have honor,” he said, adding that Russia must respect Georgia’s sovereignty.

Warren pressed Obama on two hot-button issues among social conservatives: abortion and same-sex marriage.

Obama said that although he’s pro-choice and supports Roe v. Wade, his goal is to reduce the number of abortions in America.

“On this particular issue, if you believe that life begins at conception … and you are consistent, then I can’t argue with you on that,” he said. “What I can do is say, are there ways we can work together to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies?”

He also touched on same-sex marriage. When asked to define marriage, he told Warren, “It’s a union between a man and a woman.”

“For me as a Christian, it is a sacred union. God’s in the mix,” he said.

Obama added that he does support same-sex civil unions, saying, “I can afford those civil rights to others even if I don’t have … that view.”

McCain was also asked about his views on those issues. He said he would be a pro-life president and would support legislation favoring anti-abortion policy positions.

In terms of same-sex marriage, he supports traditional marriage defined as a union between a man and a woman but would let states decide rather than have a federal mandate.

Obama was asked what he would say if he could say whatever he wanted and face no public repercussions. He answered, “solving big problems are not going to be easy. We are all going to think about how we using things [energy-wise]. If we pretend like everything is free, we are betraying the tradition of America.”

The stakes are high for both candidates, who are actively courting so-called values voters and evangelicals, important voting blocs.

A CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll taken July 27-29 showed that among white, born-again or evangelical voters, 67 percent are for McCain, with 24 percent for Obama.

Although it’s a strong showing for McCain, he’s lagging 11 percentage points behind President Bush in the 2004 election. Exit polls show that Bush beat Sen. John Kerry 78 percent to 21 percent among these voters.

McCain, who was raised an Episcopalian and now identifies himself as Baptist, rarely discusses his faith.

“I’m unashamed and unembarrassed about my deep faith in God. But I do not obviously try to impose my views on others,” McCain said in April.

Since then, the senator from Arizona has met with many of the evangelical leaders who did not support his candidacy during the primary season. At a private meeting this summer, dozens of the movement’s most prominent figures voted to support his campaign.

Obama’s positions in favor of abortion rights and same-sex civil unions also have created tension among evangelical voters otherwise drawn to his candidacy.

But the Democrat, who is Christian, has made it a point to discuss his religion on the trail this year and launched an ambitious outreach effort targeting these voters, including private summits with pastors and a major campaign aimed at young evangelicals.

Lesbian activist who fought for marriage rights dies

Lesbian activist Del Martin, at the forefront of the battle for same-sex marriage in California, died Wednesday in San Francisco. She was 87.

Phyllis Lyon, left, and Del Martin, at home in 2004, founded the nation’s first lesbian organization.

Martin’s partner of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, was by her side at the UCSF hospice, the National Center for Lesbian Rights said.

Martin and Lyon, 84, tied the knot June 16 in a ceremony officiated by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom.

“Ever since I met Del 55 years ago, I could never imagine a day would come when she wouldn’t be by my side. I am so lucky to have known her, loved her and been her partner in all things,” Lyon said. “I also never imagined there would be a day that we would actually be able to get married.

“I am devastated, but I take some solace in knowing we were able to enjoy the ultimate rite of love and commitment before she passed.”

Long before Massachusetts and then California legalized same-sex marriage, Lyon and Martin were integral parts of the early movement for lesbian and gay rights. They met in 1950 in Seattle, Washington, where they worked as editors of construction trade publications. They fell in love, moving in together on Valentine’s Day 1953.

Martin fought to have the American Psychological Society declare that homosexuality is not a mental illnesses and advocated on behalf of battered women.

In 1955, the couple founded the nation’s first lesbian organization, the Daughters of Bilitis, and launched the first lesbian publication, The Ladder.

In the 1960s, they tried to get California lawmakers to introduce anti-discrimination bills and persuaded some police officers to stop harassing gays and lesbians at bars as part of a group Martin co-founded called the Council on Religion and the Homosexual.

Martin was also a founding member of several other organizations, including the Lesbian Mother’s Union, the San Francisco Women’s Centers and the Bay Area Women’s Coalition. She and Lyon were co-founders of the first gay political group in the United States, the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club, named for author Gertrude Stein’s long-time partner.

After she and Lyon were the first lesbians to join the National Organization for Women with the couples’ membership rate, Martin was the first open lesbian to be elected to NOW‘s board of directors. From that spot, she was instrumental in guiding the organization to pass a resolution recognizing lesbian issues as feminist issues.

Martin and Lyon were delegates to the White House Conference on Aging in 1991, named to it by Sen. Dianne Feinstein and Rep. Nancy Pelosi, both of California.

Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, called Martin “a real hero.”

“For all of Del’s life, she was an activist and organizer even before we knew what those terms meant,” Kendell said. “Her last act of public activism was her most personal: marrying the love of her life after 55 years.

“In the wake of losing her, we recognize with heightened clarity the most poignant and responsible way to honor her legacy is to preserve the right of marriage for same-sex couples, thereby providing the dignity and respect that Del and Phyllis’ love deserved.”

In 2003, lesbian filmmaker Joan E. Biren released “No Secret Anymore: The Times of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon,” a 57-minute documentary focusing on the couple’s activism and relationship.

That year, the couple spoke to The Noe Valley Voice, a newspaper covering their San Francisco neighborhood, about the film and their drive to advance the rights of lesbians.

“We wanted our full rights and responsibilities,” Martin told the Voice.

Lyon said she and Martin had no particular secret on how to keep a relationship going for decades.

“If we had a secret, we would have written a book and made a million dollars,” Lyon told the Voice. “We love each other; we have similar interests. Our lives were very similar even before we met.”

In 2004, San Francisco officials allowed gay couples in the city to wed, prompting a flood of applicants to the City Hall clerk’s office. The officials chose Lyon, then 80, and Martin, then 83, to take the first vows.

The state Supreme Court voided those unions. Lyon and Martin, however, joined more than 20 other couples as plaintiffs in a lawsuit challenging the state’s marriage laws.

On My 15, the California Supreme Court struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage, paving the way for Lyon and Martin and other same-sex couples to marry in the state.

A standing-room only crowd at San Francisco’s City Hall on June 16 saw Lyon and Martin, in a wheelchair, take their vows.

“This is an extraordinary moment in history,” Newsom said. “I think today, marriage as an institution has been strengthened.”

Del Martin identified her own legacy in 1984 when she said that her most important contribution was “being able to help make changes in the way lesbians and gay men view themselves and how the larger society views lesbians and gay men.”

In addition to Lyon, Martin is survived by daughter Kendra Mon, son-in-law Eugene Lane, granddaughter Lorraine Mon, grandson Kevin Mon and sister-in-law Patricia Lyon.

Vanessa Minnillo: Nick Said ‘I Love You’ First

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo

Luckily for Vanessa Minnillo, life doesn’t always imitate art.

Case in point? In Disaster Movie, hitting theaters Friday, Minnillo’s cheerleader character just can’t get her boyfriend to say “I love you.”

“He just can’t drop the L-word,” Minnillo, 27, tells PEOPLE of her character’s commitment-challenged boyfriend. “And what a girl wants more than anything in the world is for their boyfriend to say ‘I love you.’ ”

But, says Minnillo, her real-life beau Nick Lachey, 34, doesn’t have any similar hang-ups: “The L-word is not thrown around by men as easily as it is by women – but I didn’t say it first! He’s very loving. We’re very open and vocal.”

While Minnillo and Lachey may be in sync when it comes to their love for each other, their attempt to exercise together is not so harmonious.

“We used to work out together, but we stopped,” says Minnillo, laughing. “We’re doing different things. And the guy runs forever! Like, I swear, he’s running 11 miles a day. I can’t run. That’s the one thing I can’t do, because I feel like the further I jog away from my house, the further I have to jog back!”